Sorsha's Bedroom
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
As she speaks a snear glimmers in my eyes....You wouldnt like my true self... I say inwardly.
"Perhaps that is it Layla, I dont even know the depths of my true self, so how would I know how to be? stupid dont you think I dont even know who I am." laughing half heartily, they most probably think Im crazy... Okay moving on.
**It must be soon since Hecate is here**
"Hello Doughnag" I say smiling warmly... "Hecate!"
"Perhaps that is it Layla, I dont even know the depths of my true self, so how would I know how to be? stupid dont you think I dont even know who I am." laughing half heartily, they most probably think Im crazy... Okay moving on.
**It must be soon since Hecate is here**
"Hello Doughnag" I say smiling warmly... "Hecate!"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
As Layla turned to meet them she saw a shadow out of the corner of her eye, as she focused it was gone.
**I hope the others get here soon**
**I hope the others get here soon**
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A shiver crept into my bones... Bourne? where was he? I saw two.. what.. focus..
"How dumb do they think I am" Cold fury whipped thru my veins as my true power coiled in violence... harsh blue light surrounded me as I vanished
"How dumb do they think I am" Cold fury whipped thru my veins as my true power coiled in violence... harsh blue light surrounded me as I vanished
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
People started milling around us, So I moved quickly towards her bedroom, we'd made it in the doors and I shut them firmly behind us. All the while I could hear Faysals laughter mocking me with every thought.
"I want to make you happy, but I dont think I can. Shit something has changed in me Sorsha cant you feel it?"
"I want to make you happy, but I dont think I can. Shit something has changed in me Sorsha cant you feel it?"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
"Abaddon you do make me happy, what do you mean you can't? You're not making any sense. I...." I stop and think about him saying something has changed in him.
"Honestly no, I wasn't feeling anything different, but I am feeling it now with the way you are acting. What's changed? Just tell me."
I get greeted with a long stare and more silence. "You're leaving me aren't you?"
"Honestly no, I wasn't feeling anything different, but I am feeling it now with the way you are acting. What's changed? Just tell me."
I get greeted with a long stare and more silence. "You're leaving me aren't you?"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
"Thats just it I dont know, I have never had feelings like this in here" I say tapping my head.
"And the honest truth is I dont know how to process them, fuck It up until about 2 days ago, I thought it was faysal doing this to me, making me feel, stripping my soul everytime he takes control, but its all on me. Fuck" taking a big sigh.
"Im just, its fucked up in my head, and I cant get around how I feel. and the short of it is Sorsha Im not in love with you and I dont know if I ever was or if it was circumstances that made me think I was, and I know that its unfair to keep you waiting or hanging on."
"And the honest truth is I dont know how to process them, fuck It up until about 2 days ago, I thought it was faysal doing this to me, making me feel, stripping my soul everytime he takes control, but its all on me. Fuck" taking a big sigh.
"Im just, its fucked up in my head, and I cant get around how I feel. and the short of it is Sorsha Im not in love with you and I dont know if I ever was or if it was circumstances that made me think I was, and I know that its unfair to keep you waiting or hanging on."
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
"It's all on you? And Faysal has nothing to do with it?" I almost snort laughing , why did I find that difficult to believe.
I stand there, trying to process his words. He was never in love with me? "I don't believe that either. Bo--, Abaddon, I felt it, you can't fake those kinds of feelings."
I stand there, trying to process his words. He was never in love with me? "I don't believe that either. Bo--, Abaddon, I felt it, you can't fake those kinds of feelings."
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"Maybe you are right, but how could it have been love if its fizzled out so easy in me? I just dont know anymore, I cant be with you like I am, Im no good to you this way, I just end up hurting you. Dont I?"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
I frown. Yes, how could it have fizzled out so easily? Or has it not and he is just too fucked up in his own head?
"I don't know Abaddon. Maybe you are right, maybe you never did love me." I feel a fist clenching around my heart as I say the words. This is so not happening. How the fuck did we end up back here, that stupid broken record like before.
Eva's words that day at the villa coming back to me:
I thought I knew what she meant at the time. But I didn't, not really. I do now.
"I thought you had let me in, but in hindsight, I guess I would have to say that you didn't. I don't think you know how to let anyone all the way in Abaddon. I thought I could help you with that, I thought maybe I could make you see yourself the way I see you...." I pause as tears start in my eyes. Not now Sorsha, you can break down later.
Fighting past the tears I continue "I thought I could help you through your inner struggle, help you beat Faysal. But I know now, I can't. I can't do any of those things. You're right, it is all on you. You need to figure all of those things out on your own."
"Only you can stop Faysal from sucking you down into darkness, and don't fucking look at me like that" I pause as he looks at me like I'm a moron who doesn't get what he's telling me. "You're an idiot Abaddon if you think he isn't playing a part in this. In case you've forgotten he's a demon. A demon who hates you. He'd do and say anything to take you down if you let him. He'll deconstruct your soul, just like you were thinking he would."
I stop, realising I am still trying to get through to him what he either will or won't see on his own. AHHGGHH, fuck it.
I start to sheild myself from him, locking my thoughts and feelings down tight as more of Eva's words come back to me:
Am I doing that by letting him go? Gods I hope so. Because even though he keeps ripping my heart out, I still love him, I'm still his. Damn those fucking fates, I suppose I always will be.
"So what does this mean for us? I'm sure my father will annul our marriage if I ask him to. Is that what you want?" I feel a little kick and look down as I put my hand on my stomach. Not looking back up at him "What about the kids?" I whisper.
"I don't know Abaddon. Maybe you are right, maybe you never did love me." I feel a fist clenching around my heart as I say the words. This is so not happening. How the fuck did we end up back here, that stupid broken record like before.
Eva's words that day at the villa coming back to me:
Eva wrote: ah and there in lies the crux, it is up to him to let you in. And that is what you have to realise, and acknowledge
I thought I knew what she meant at the time. But I didn't, not really. I do now.
"I thought you had let me in, but in hindsight, I guess I would have to say that you didn't. I don't think you know how to let anyone all the way in Abaddon. I thought I could help you with that, I thought maybe I could make you see yourself the way I see you...." I pause as tears start in my eyes. Not now Sorsha, you can break down later.
Fighting past the tears I continue "I thought I could help you through your inner struggle, help you beat Faysal. But I know now, I can't. I can't do any of those things. You're right, it is all on you. You need to figure all of those things out on your own."
"Only you can stop Faysal from sucking you down into darkness, and don't fucking look at me like that" I pause as he looks at me like I'm a moron who doesn't get what he's telling me. "You're an idiot Abaddon if you think he isn't playing a part in this. In case you've forgotten he's a demon. A demon who hates you. He'd do and say anything to take you down if you let him. He'll deconstruct your soul, just like you were thinking he would."
I stop, realising I am still trying to get through to him what he either will or won't see on his own. AHHGGHH, fuck it.
I start to sheild myself from him, locking my thoughts and feelings down tight as more of Eva's words come back to me:
Eva wrote: He needs a strong woman, one that will stand up to him, in the wake of his fury. One who in a heartbeat would stand willingly by his side when the world turns in on itself and the gates of hell open to swallow him whole. But mostly I need to know that that woman will be the one to guide him into the light to wash away the darkness that resides in his soul
Am I doing that by letting him go? Gods I hope so. Because even though he keeps ripping my heart out, I still love him, I'm still his. Damn those fucking fates, I suppose I always will be.
"So what does this mean for us? I'm sure my father will annul our marriage if I ask him to. Is that what you want?" I feel a little kick and look down as I put my hand on my stomach. Not looking back up at him "What about the kids?" I whisper.
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
Everything she said is right, I suppose who the fuck knows I dont, I cant even see the light at the end of the tunnel in truth Im suffocating. But I didnt want to run away from my responsiblities.
"I dont need you to tell me what Faysal is. Fuck were just going around in circles. Im going to leave, I dont expect you to wait for me Sorsha, and as hard as it will be for me to except, you can see who ever you please, I will not interfere."
Her heart was breaking, that much I could tell, and yet I didnt feel lost or like I was losing something, I felt confused and irritated. Fuck I know Faysal is talking to me pushing at me, but there is truth in what he says. As hard as I tried to forget Hecate, a part of me revels in the pain it inflicted on me, because this way that kind of emotion was something I knew how to deal with, I knew what it was. But these new feelings, these insecurities. I am dumbfounded. Was it better to loathe myself rather than show weakness? As for the kids fuck, he was right at first I didnt want them, but I am bound by honor and by responsiblity to do what is right. Fuck. I just wanted to be as far away from this drama as possible, the stupid thing about my situation, I fucking created it. Looking down at her belly. I continued
" I'd like to be here for them whenever you need me, or maybe I could take one and you the other. Or I could look after them at night and you during the day. I'd like to be part of their lives, but if its too hard for you to deal with me then I will wait until you are ready. If you wish Sorsha get our marriage annuled, I'd still like to stay married to you, but I dont see why you should suffer me."
She tilted her head away from my sight, I wanted to comfort her but that would be too cruel. She drifted away from me towards the bed like a ghost. And curled up on the bed with her back to me. Now I felt like a cunt. She didnt say a word there was a space between us now, one of my doing.
Following his voice I vanished and found myself in his private chambers.
"I have to go to the order"
"I dont need you to tell me what Faysal is. Fuck were just going around in circles. Im going to leave, I dont expect you to wait for me Sorsha, and as hard as it will be for me to except, you can see who ever you please, I will not interfere."
Her heart was breaking, that much I could tell, and yet I didnt feel lost or like I was losing something, I felt confused and irritated. Fuck I know Faysal is talking to me pushing at me, but there is truth in what he says. As hard as I tried to forget Hecate, a part of me revels in the pain it inflicted on me, because this way that kind of emotion was something I knew how to deal with, I knew what it was. But these new feelings, these insecurities. I am dumbfounded. Was it better to loathe myself rather than show weakness? As for the kids fuck, he was right at first I didnt want them, but I am bound by honor and by responsiblity to do what is right. Fuck. I just wanted to be as far away from this drama as possible, the stupid thing about my situation, I fucking created it. Looking down at her belly. I continued
" I'd like to be here for them whenever you need me, or maybe I could take one and you the other. Or I could look after them at night and you during the day. I'd like to be part of their lives, but if its too hard for you to deal with me then I will wait until you are ready. If you wish Sorsha get our marriage annuled, I'd still like to stay married to you, but I dont see why you should suffer me."
She tilted her head away from my sight, I wanted to comfort her but that would be too cruel. She drifted away from me towards the bed like a ghost. And curled up on the bed with her back to me. Now I felt like a cunt. She didnt say a word there was a space between us now, one of my doing.
Finvarra wrote:**Abaddon come see me before you leave**
Following his voice I vanished and found myself in his private chambers.
"I have to go to the order"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
Laying on the bed I feel him leave, I let at a sigh as I think I can maybe let out some of this emotion welling up inside me. I honestly don't know what to think anymore. I know Faysal is making this worse but he had to get the ammunition from somewhere. So all of those thoughts and feelings must have been in Abaddon to begin with. I feel a tear escape my eyes and roll down my cheek. That one small crack in my sheild and I realize he is still here, with my father. "Oh for the love of all that is holy" I murmur. Wiping away the tear I clamp down on my sheilds again and materialize in my fathers room.
I see Abaddon leaning against the wall, malice towards my father rolling off of him. I turn to him "Athair, what did you do?"
I see Abaddon leaning against the wall, malice towards my father rolling off of him. I turn to him "Athair, what did you do?"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
Finvarra wrote: Laying her on her bed I sit down next to her and just stare for a while. Knowing I can't sit here and watch over her forever I get up with a sigh. I summon for one of the attendants "I want to know the instant she is awake, you hear me? The fucking instant!" With that I vanish back to talk to Kahurangi.
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
Finvarra wrote:
Message to the Kingdom.
** things are about to unfold that may be detremental to your well being, please take your families and leave the fae until such time I call you home. If you wish to remain you do so at your own peril.
Your King
Finvarra**
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Finvarra wrote: Walking into Sorsha's bedroom I see the attendent I left her with is still here. I place a hand on her shoulder "It was good of you to stay and to keep Aengus away from her, but you can go now." She bows and vanishes. I sit down on the bed next to Sorsha and take one of her hands in mine. She starts to stir and then opens one bleery eye in my direction. "How are you feeling?"
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I can hear someone talking through the throbbing in my head but I can only manage to open one eye. Not really being able to focus I think it's my father "Athair?" I'm not sure if I get a response as I let my mind drift. Pushing out I sense it, and of course there it is, just like Kumani said she thought it would be. I tap into the nearby Ley Line and start to syphon it's power into me. As the throbbing in my head becomes nothing more than an irritating dull ache my eyes snap open and meet my fathers. "Where the fuck is Taran I am going to kick his lily white ass!"
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Finvarra wrote: Shit. "He's not here Sorsha. We need to talk." I squeeze her hand tighter "Please."
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
Lucky fucking thing that asshat left, that and my desire to see my kids is overriding my desire to smash his face into the ground. I wrench my hand out of my fathers as I get out of bed. "Fine, we'll talk. AFTER you take me to my children."
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Finvarra wrote: "They're not here either." She rounds on me with such fury in her eyes. "Abaddon took them back to the divide" I see her visibly relax. A little.
Last edited by on Mon Jul 16, 2007 9:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Okay Abaddon has them. That's okay, finally the man is showing some sort of fucking rational thought. "But why now?" I walk up to him and bend down into his face "why have they been here with you while I was gone and now that I back you seem to see the light that they should be with their father? You don't trust me with them?"
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Finavarra wrote: "Honestly no" Her eyes flash and start doing something fucking weird as hell. Fuck me, Abaddon wasn't kidding. I think I am totally out of my depth here. "There's more to it then just that though Sorsha." She cocks her head at me, waiting for me to say more. I send a message to Abaddon.
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Materializing inside Sorsha's room as Phoenyx. I dont think she even noticed I'd appeared, her eyes had glazed over and were like pockets of oozing tar, with grainy film across them. Ley line power courses thickly thru my veins in effect I could cut her off, but this was par for the course, she had to learn to control it herself, and learn some god damned restraint. Looking over at Finvarra I speak to him.
**I will watch, from above until such time she is willing to speak to me, for now let Phoenyx talk to her.**
**I will watch, from above until such time she is willing to speak to me, for now let Phoenyx talk to her.**
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Phoenyx wrote:
I felt dad pull out, with a breath my site returned to normal. Damn mama looked skinny.
"Wow you looked fucked off!"
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Re: Sorsha's Bedroom
Finvarra wrote: Oh thank fuck. "I think there is someone who can explain it better than I can" I move my head, motioning towards where Phoenyx is standing and I watch as her head slowly moves in that direction. Is it wrong to be happy that her focus isn't on me anymore? Holy shit.
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